Right around Christmas, my mom posted on her Facebook page that I have been given a clean bill of health. People had been asking her how I was, and that was the simplest way for her to let them all know.
The problem is, that a "clean bill of health" is at best an over-simplification, and at worst just not the truth. It is true that I am feeling much better and am back to being able to do most things. I'm 100% back at work certainly. My throat has definitely cleared up quite a bit. I do feel much better than I did when I started seeing all the doctors.
But I'm a far cry from being completely healthy. My doctor did not at any point declare that I have reached remission. There are a lot of reasons to be optimistic about it, but I'm not in the clear yet. Even when it is in remission, I suspect there's going to be a lot of work to do with my nose to get it in working order. It's working better than it did before, but I'm still using a sinus rinse at least once a day in order to keep my nose clear enough to breathe.
I'm also dealing with the aftermath of being so sick I couldn't move and the medication that went with it (the lovely prednisone). I have gained a lot of weight, and I have lost a ton of strength, flexibility, and stamina.
2016 is going to be a year of improving health for me. There will be lots of doctor's appointments. There may or may not be some surgeries (we'll see if I need them, but I'm prepared if I do). There is definitely going to be a lot of work toward eating well and moving more. Developing good habits is really a top priority for me right now because the better my health is overall, the more likely I am to avoid a flare up of GPA (this is not necessarily based in fact, but it make sense to me). Or, if I do have a flare, I like to think I can ride it out better if I'm over-all healthier.
The truth is, though, that I will probably never actually have a completely clean bill of health. GPA is chronic. I'm always going to have it and I can relapse any time. I think I need to hold on to that in order to take care of myself going forward. My last remission lasted so long that I let myself believe that I was well and truly done with it. That I was sick, once, back when I was 18, but that I was completely over it. While I do think it's worth being optimistic about staying in remission, I need to accept that permanence of my sickness in order to properly take care of it.
I hate going to the doctor when I'm healthy. If I acknowledge that I'm never healthy, that block goes away, and I can get the regular maintenance I need to function as a healthy person.
As for this blog, I'd like to keep going. I'm not sure what direction I'm going to go with it though. I've not updated in a while because things are getting so much back to normal. Also, I've been busy (I love that I'm able to be busy!). I will try to update at least once a month. I might just talk about how I have or have not made progress toward my good-habits-goals. I will definitely update with any doctor's appointments, but my next one isn't until March.