Monday, May 23, 2016

Oh Dear

Friday was a bad day.

I woke up after about 8 1/2 hours of sleep feeling completely exhausted.  Like stupid tired.  My limbs felt like they weighed 50 lbs each, I could barely keep my eyes open, sentences began to fall about 5 words in because my brain just wasn't willing to chip in and help my mouth with words.  I did't go to work because I was pretty sure I would be dangerous behind the wheel.

I am familiar with this kind of tired, but I was very surprised to see it.  I've been doing really well lately, and fatigue hasn't really been a thing.  And, of course, it popped up at the worst possible time - I had a couple classes coming to the library on Friday for a tour.  So I'm frustrated about that.  I'm also not sure what this means to my overall health.

It could be that I just did too much on Thursday and used up all my energy reserves.  Even though I have been feeling pretty well, I'm still in the recovering from being very very sick.  Spoonie rules still apply.  Even if my disease isn't active (it's probably not), there's been a lot of damage to my system.  It takes time for all that to recover.  So even if I'm mostly better, I guess I still have definite limits and need to be careful to not over-do it.

I'm worried that I've been masking symptoms.  I'm actually very good at ignoring how tired I am and working though fatigue.  Not fatigue like I felt on Friday, but lesser fatigue.  If I've been ignoring lesser fatigue, it could have built up, and then one super busy and tiring day finally overloaded me and I lost functionality.

There could also be mental health factors at work.

Anyway, as soon as I decided I wasn't going to make it to work, I went back to bed for another 5 hours and spent the rest of the weekend taking it easy.  I'm feeling much better now, but I'm not sure how to interpret this event.

Do I cut back on the things I'm doing?  Should I just try paying more attention to my energy levels?  That would could be good or bad, because I'm just as good at creating psychosomatic symptoms as I am at ignoring real ones.  Should I go on as I have been and write it off as a one time thing unless it happens again?

Worrying about this is stressing me out.  And I don't like set-backs.  At this point I'm probably over-thinking it and making mountains of molehills. f

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