Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Fifty Shades of Tired

Being sick like this gives a person a whole new appreciation for the many nuances of being tired.

The night before last, I didn't sleep well. Prednisone gave me night sweats, which are super gross and uncomfortable.  I was simultaneously freezing and boiling hot.  By 5:00 in the morning, I was wide awake with no hope of getting back to sleep.

Yesterday, I was sleepy, but not really very tired.  I got out of the house, did some things, even managed to pick up the condo a little.  I went to bed early, because I didn't get a lot of sleep, but it was a pretty good day.

Last night, I slept very well for a very long time.  Today though I am Tired.  I could barely drag myself out of bed.  I thought maybe with a good breakfast and coffee I could maybe rally and go to work and get some stuff done.  Breakfast and coffee didn't do the trick.

After I took a shower, my arms and legs were literally shaking from exhaustion.

My big accomplishment for the day is going to be completing very basic personal hygiene.

Also, do you know how disheartening it is to call in to work for being tired. A normal person can go to work even when they are tired.  It doesn't feel like a reasonable excuse.

Other shades of tired: brain fog that makes me feel like my head is floating three feet behind and above me.  Walking into walls because spacial perception takes too much effort. Being wide awake and staring in to space for several minutes without even noticing.  Being very sleepy because I slept poorly or for a very short time.

Shades of tired I don't get to feel right now but would like to:  That accomplished tired you get after working out or getting a lot of work done.  Sleepy because you chose to do something fun instead of sleeping last night (like hanging out with friends or reading).  The energizing tired you get from working hard and fast and keeping moving.

In other news, I spent a lot of time yesterday calling doctors and insurance numbers.  I was trying to get in to see a rheumatologist sooner than October 13.  Absolutely nothing came of it.  I guess my appointment isn't really that far off at this point.  It seems very unlikely that anyone will be able to fit me in sooner.  It's frustrating, but what can you do?  I feel little bit like I'm drifting, floating around in limbo.  The effect is definitely amplified by the tired.  It gives everything a surreal, dreamlike film.


  1. I have fibro and can relate to all those shades. Be easy on yourself. You have a sympathetic reader here. Don't be too hard on your self.